Monday, October 18, 2010

Some Sadness

Sorry I've been away again. Life has been up and down for the past few months, and three weeks ago today we had to put Dexter down. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life! He was diagnosed with cancer back in April, and the vet said that he could go through chemo but the odds were against him, and if he were to be cured, it would most likely return and be even harder to beat. I decided then to let him live out his last few months happy instead of constantly being sick from the treatments.

About two months ago he stopped eating very much and became very skinny. Almost like a skeleton with fur. He still acted normal, but as the weeks went by he became weaker and weaker until he could no longer jump up on anything and began to have trouble walking. I knew he would only suffer more and we took him to the vet who confirmed he was not well and that it would be the right time. I held him in my lap for about twenty minutes petting him and saying goodbye with tears streaming down my face. I have never loved an animal more than I loved my Dexter. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing.

I still think I hear his claws on the wood floor and every now and then think I see him coming around the corner. I forget and expect him to be waiting at the door when I come home. Every time it's like a knife in my heart. I miss him terribly, especially when my boyfriend is away and I'm all alone at the house. He was my furry companion. I will miss his "assistance" when I'm working on projects in the sewing room.

I don't expect I'll ever get another cat, at least anytime soon. Even if I did, there will never be another Dexter. He was the best. I miss you Boo, rest in peace. I loved you with all my heart!